It's a Saiyan Bargain Sale
by DragonStoneP
Summary: The Saiyans are at one of those places where women bid on men, that's it.
1. Prologue

**Ages**

 **Goku: 34**

 **Bulma: 36**

 **Trunks: 25**

 **Goten: 24**

 **Cress: 22**

 **Vegeta: 23**

 **Chi-Chi: 29**

 **Cress: 24**

 **Bulla/Bra: 22**

 **Pan: 25**

 **Gohan: 33**

 **Okay, people have been asking me what Cress looks like so they can get a better understanding. So here's a link: /image/etsua37tb/ (PM ME IF IT DOESN'T WORK!)**

It was the afternoon and Bulma and Chi-Chi were out. They were at a coffee shop a bit ways away from Capsule Corp. "Sometimes I wish that Vegeta wasn't such a jerk..." Chi-Chi said (yeah, in this one Goku is with Bulma and Vegeta is with Chi-Chi) as she stirred her coffee uninterested. "I get ya hon, all Goku wants is sex a lot, guess I'm too attractive for him!" Bulma responded. Ch-Chi then complained something about not having enough money because Vegeta was eating a lot.

All of a sudden, a paper blew into her face. It looked to be an ad for men. She handed it to Bulma. "Seems to be one of those conventions where women bid on men, good revenge on the guys!" Bulma exclaimed. Chi-Chi squealed in delight to the thought of women bidding a couple grand on Vegeta and Trunks. They both gave an evil smirk.

Back at CC, Cress had gotten a text from Bulma saying she was going to get revenge on all of the guys. 'Shit...' He thought. "GUYS PANIC MODE!" He yelled as he ran into the basement to hide. The rest of the group consisting of Bulla, Goku, Goten, Pan, and Gohan read it and screamed (well the men did). They all split up to hide. Goku and Goten ran into the basement as Gohan went to hide in the kitchen drawer.

When Bulma got home later, she wasn't surprised to see that no one was there. She sighed and opened the basement door, obviously knowing at least SOMEONE was down there. She heard voices of people and rustling of them trying to get comfortable. Some old boxes fell when Bulma turned on the light.

When the boxes fell, it was Goten. He gave a look of horror and tried to get past the woman, but she stood her ground. Cress tried to climb from the wall out but the shadow was seen and he fell. The rest just fell. "Oh no, you guys are going! About time someone teaches you a lesson in life!" She yelled at them. Their looks fell and they went upstairs.

At Chi-Chi's house, the sound of someone in the kitchen was heard. It was Trunks. "Here you go, tell me what you think." She said plainly crossing her arms when she handed it to him. Trunks read it and his eyes expanded more than possible. He looked at the back door and smirked. His dad wouldn't stand for this.

Chi-Chi saw him looking and hurried to stop him but the Saiyan speed was too much. He broke open the gravity chamber that Bulma had given them and saw his father. Vegeta looked at him and went "What is it, tell me before I pound you." Trunks replied "Bidding, women, embarressment." He just handed his father the flier.

Vegeta read it, crumpled it up and burned it with a ki ball. He stormed out to talk to the person responsible. "What are you doing woman?! Making me go and get bidded on by dumb Earth women?!" He yelled at Chi-Chi. She just stared and got the car. 'Shit...' Trunks thought.

Gohan got the message and just got excited. Finally he could show himself off (He hasn't met Videl yet, don't worry I got a plan) to women! He got a blue suit from his closet of clothes. It was almost a shiny blue with a black tie, white undershirt and his pants were the same shade of blue.

"THIS IS INHUMANE! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS!" Cress cried out while getting dragged out of the house by Goku. "Why do we have to go there? Why ME?" Vegeta complained in the car. "WOOHOO! I am so ready to get LAAAAIIIIIDD!" Gohan exclaimed excited for the night.

 **Short chapter I know, but the next 3-6 chapters will be longer, introductions are always my bad side. Also, I know some ages were out of order like Goku 34 and Gohan 33, it's just idk. I don't really want Goku to be like 50 and that makes Bulma about 61.**

 **Anyway, if you want more chapters be sure to favorite and send good reviews!**


	2. Pan and Bulla Choices

**Back earlier, thanks for about five PMs. With the link, it seems like it works for a few but not for others.**

When the Briefs (and Cress) arrived there, it automatically looked odd. It looked like someone rented out an old warehouse and decided to make an auction place. Being very suspicious, Cress walked in first.

When he entered, it immediately smelled terrible. It smelled like a person dropped an entire perfume on the ground. Everyone made their way through but it took an aura flash from Goku to wipe out the smell.

There were a lot of women in the main room. Some even started to almost assault Goku and Cress. "Alright, I am afraid we split up here. Good luck to not get an old lady!" Bulma told them. She was doubting doing this now. Now that she thought of, what wife would want some random lady to have a one-night-stand with their husband? Was this even legal?

Later, Gohan arrived. He saw all the chicks and smiled at them. Big mistake. They all started to clobber. "Gohan, over here!" Someone called out as a hand reached out. He grabbed it and was swung out by Cress. "Let's get out of here!" He yelled as they both ran onto the backstage with the rest.

It seemed everyone had arrived by now. Bulma sat with Chi-Chi in the back. Pan and Bulla got their own table on the opposite end of the room. "Can we technically vote for our friend, you know to get them out of there?" Bulla asked. Pan gave her an evil smirk already knowing what she was up to. 'Hehehe, now I can take advantage of her!' She thought. "Shit..." Bulla muttered as she sank. 'How does she know?' She asked herself.

"First off on the list, is a man named Goten! Get your cash out for him!" The announcer exclaimed and the crowd went crazy. They started throwing money at the stage to try to get him. "Jesus, is this a male strip club?" Gohan asked. "Probably" Cress answered.

Goten's turn was up and it was time for Goku. He was looking at Bulma with scared eyes. 'Ugh he is such a baby sometimes...' She thought as she held up a couple $500 bills. The announcer saw and yelled out "We have about three thousand, anyone higher!?" No one raised their hand, as who would spend almost 3.5 thousand for a man? "Sold to the lady in the back!" The announcer said.

"I'm scared, what if an 80 year old gets me? I don't want that to happen! I would rather lose my virginity to a guy!" Cress exclaimed which made everyone there slowly turn their heads to him. 'Shit...' He thought. "Eh, I agree with the broccoli" Vegeta answered. Broccoli is what he called Cress, since Cress' hair was green and broccoli was green. "Stop calling me that!" He shot at him.

"Who are you getting off the stage tonight?" Pan asked Bulla. "I know you want one of them, Trunks? Goten? Cress, even?" She named. At the name of the one she wanted, Bulla blushed furiously. "Stop torturing me Pan!" She just shot at her. "Not until you tell me!" Pan shot back.

"You will find out when it is his turn." Bulla told her firmly, knowing that she won. 'Dammit' Pan thought. She kept wondering who is was. She figured another way to torture her. "Wait so it is a fact your pulling someone off the stage!" She laughed. If it was possible, Bulla blushed more. "I hate you!" She yelled at her as she just kept laughing.

"Besides, why is that so funny?" Bulla demanded. Once she finished laughing so hard it seemed her vocal chords were gonna fall out, she explained. "It's so hilarious just picturing you in bed with one of the three boys up there! Imagine just Goten pumping!" Pan said while barely stopping herself from laughing.

"Oh yeah? I know you will get Trunks off there!" Bulla shouted. Pan quickly shut her mouth. She knew in secret she was about to pull Trunks off the stage when he arrived on. Bulla wasn't about to tell PAN who she was getting off the stage. For all she knew Pan would run up and tell him.

 **Short chapter, I know. But who will Bulla pull off the stage? Will Pan get Trunks for the night? Find out in the next chapter of, umm, this story!**


	3. Gohan, Trunks, and Cress

**Okay I'm updating today because I will be at my cousin's 8th birthday tomorrow. I won't get back until around 9-10 then I'm going camping for the weekend so sorry for this one chapter with a big cliffhanger :(**

"HAHAHA! You like Trunks!" Bulla kept laughing at Pan. Pan just sat low and was blushing out of anger and embarressment. Bulla found it hilarious how she just had a crush on her brother! Why would she have a crush on her big brother Trunks? He wasn't that muscular, Goten was probably a bit stronger than him. But the last question was, who was Bulla going to pull off? It was only Gohan or Cress at this point.

It was Gohan's turn now, and he walked out showing off. He took off his suit and showed his undershirt as the women were going buckwild on him. He started unbuttoning his undershirt. Now the women went more crazy than ever. They were trying to reach for him to drag him out. A few ladies were actually nice, and just held up dollar bills in the back. The announcer mainly looked at them. "We have a couple women back there who would be glad to have this man! Who will win him? Can we go to $500!?" The announcer stated into the microphone. A few hands dropped to a point of three more.

There was a blondie with red sunglasses that looked about 50-65. Gohan was very grossed out, why did that type of lady come here? No man would do that unless your Master Roshi or something, but at the same time not even he would do that! There was an odd red head, not like the natural red, like dyed red. Her hair was done in a Chi-Chi style way. She seemed to be more loaded with cash than the other lady. That left one more.

This woman's hair was done in two pigtails, with yellow bands holding them. She had on a white-grey shirt that was a bit too big for her. She looked around his age, so he fixated on her and hoped that the hand wouldn't go down. "Okay, we have three more contestants it seems! Can we hit $1100?" The announcer yelled out. One hand went down which was the blondie. "1500?" She yelled. The red head went down. "That leaves the black haired lady in the back! Sold to her!" The announcer announced (heh). 'Yes!' Gohan thought.

"Wow, some lady got my dad..." Pan said with her chin in her hands. "Haha!" Bulla yelled. "But we still have to wait for Trunks and Cress!" Pan shot back. This made her shut up. "Argh! I hate you still!" Bulla shot back. "All you can come up with? Wow" Pan said. "Wait, then you are getting Cress! Unless some old bag takes him..." Pan exclaimed laughing. 'Shit forgot about that..." Bulla thought to herself.

Now it was Trunks' turn. When he came out, Pan was one of the first to jump up holding a couple hundreds. Bulla smirked at her best friend's attempt to get her brother. She couldn't get Trunks, even in her dreams. Trunks didn't even show any affection to Pan at ALL! Bulla started giggling at this thought. 'What ARE the chances of getting him? There are at least a couple more hundred women in here he would like better than PAN!' Bulla thought.

"Oh good lord, Trunks is up there now..." Bulma sighed with her eyes between her right thumb and index finger. 'Please Dende do NOT let him get some old bag, he has one virginity and doesn't want to waste it on some old lady who he'll never see again in his life!' She prayed. "Looks like your son's up there ready to get laid by some bag" Chi-Chi pointed out laughing. Bulma's face turned red with anger.

Trunks went up onto stage and saw a few hands go up even before he was fully visible. 'Shit, powerful crowd...' He thought. That wouldn't take him down though. He saw Pan in the back standing on the table and acted surprised, even though he would prefer her over anything else. The announcer said, "Alright, bidding at $1200!" A lot of hands sank. The announcer kept stating cash amounts and more than three fourths of the hands went down, leaving only Pan, that red head from earlier, and some other lady he didn't know.

"Wait a minute, your not raising your hand!" Pan stated while turned around at Bulla. 'Shit...' She thought (I say "shit" a lot huh?). "You're taking down Cress! HAHAHA!" Pan was laughing. She was laughing so hard she fell over but the announcer only saw the hand go down and not her fall, falling is a rule to where they can get back up counted as an "Accident". It was dark back there, so it was understandable how the announcer thought that Pan's hand went down. "Sold to the lady in the middle!" She said.

Pan made a sound mixed with a sob and yell. "What the hell kinda noise was that?" Bulla asked out loud. Pan just looked at her angrily. 'Idiot, not knowing my noise. Why is she such a moron? Oh wait she has Goku in her...' She thought. What she didn't notice was she said that out loud. (I'm not going to write this scene as I don't want to write a horrific cat fight, the writing there would be worse than a two year old trying to draw their name)

That left Vegeta and Cress. Cress went first. He entered the stage. Women went crazy on him. He was creeped out by the insanity of this. He looked up and saw a few hands up in the back. 'Please be someone I know, please please Dende' He prayed. Cress saw Bulla's hand go up with a few $500 bills. 'Alright! Someone I would go with! Oh shit how is Bulma gonna react..." He thought.

Cress knew that Goku would be okay with it, as the only men Bulla ever dated only cared about her looks. If anything, Goku would rather probably have him with her than some douchebag who would break up with her in two days. 'Umm, Goku?' Cress asked Goku telepathically. 'Yeah?' He replied. 'Bulla, umm, is raising her hand for me, what do I do?' He asked. It was silent for a few moments, he was a bit scared that Goku was going to drag him off the stage or something.

Finally an answer came. 'I would personally have you be with her than some douchebag who would dump her in two days, Bulma is a different story.' Goku replied. 'My thoughts exactly' Cress replied. He hadn't noticed that someone had won. "Sold to the blue haired young ma'am in the back!" The announcer exclaimed. 'Can you deal with Bulma?' Cress asked Goku telepathically again. 'I'll try to get everything out of her, but you owe me. I might try to say I will speak to you later, that always works with her' Goku replied.

 **Another one gone, another one gone. Another chapter done! (Don't sue me) Well that's another chapter, if you can be up around 11 PM to 1 AM PST you might see another chapter up. Oh yeah, here's my key for talking:**

 **(Example): Me [author] talking to you.**

 **'Example': Someone thinking**

 **"Example": Obviously someone talking**

 **Okay, bye bye for now!**


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